Should we name new kitty Jax or Fivel?

Monday, March 29, 2010

The day that I die.

*Edit - I almost didn't post this because it's morbid. Don't read if you don't want to.
*Edit #2 - You can't vote in the poll at the end if you are reading this in RSS.

Humans have always been obsessed with death and mortality. Fear of dying led the Egyptians to spend millions of man hours building pyramids, and sent explorers across the world looking for the fountain of youth. It's probably why people at my school donate millions of dollars to have their name on a building. I don't think you can worry about it too much, or you'll never do anything. So how do you think you will go? If I had to rate the likelihood of the cause of my death it would go like this:


1) The Citibus on 23rd street. This thing comes barreling at me every day on my way to work and is always like 2 inches from hopping the curb and taking us all out. Plus the drivers are always texting.


2) A crazy student at work. Financial aid is a high pressure environment. Especially when you work at the most expensive school in America. Most days we have someone cry, swear, and yell at us. We have some truly crazy people that come in. One of these days, someone is going to take the whole office hostage.



3) Metro Crash. The negligence and incompetence that goes on at DC metro is pretty well documented. The infrastructure hasn't been updated since the Nixon administration, and I spend an hour a day on those trains. Sooner or later it's gonna catch up with me. There's even a law firm for it.

4) Eugene. Eugene went to my high school for a year, but then he was institutionalized. Somehow he found my number, and calls me every year or so. He thinks all people from California are inherently good, and that people from areas where he had childhood trauma are bad. He torched a van from Pennsylvania just for having Pennsylvania tags, and got arrested after a low speed chase. He feels like he got away with it, because he convinced the police he did it because he thought the owners of the van were vampires. I've told him I live in California (obviously) but he actually bags groceries less than a mile from my house. If I were to run into him, he might snap.



5) Law school. School is stressing me out. Not sure how many more outlines I can read.

What do you think?

5 comments:

Scott said...

I definitely voted for number five. Law school is going to kill me...and I'm over halfway done! Ugh.

Anita Cramer Wells said...

you definitely deserve a more exciting demise than just old age or something. i like the options, but stick around a little longer :-)

Mrs. Horton said...

Joe man,
Eugene will definitely be the one to get you.

Ashley said...

I hope you used a pseudonym for "Eugene", otherwise I think he's gonna find you! Glad I lived most my life in California...

Yokota Fritz said...

Of course, we have our fair share of crazies in California as well.

My best friend from middle school became schizophrenic as a young adult; his family have no idea where he's at. Very sad.